just stumbled across this little gem

"You can't make anyone be with you. You also can't make someone be happy. They have to want these things on their own. And if they don't want them they were never yours anyway." -Unknown

This is really what I needed to hear tonight. Sometimes you get so caught up in mending something you thought was broken, that you forget why you were trying to fix it in the first place. True, love takes hard work and lots of effort but the second you're willing to make yourself miserable for the sake of the other persons happiness, you give up your own. What's really more important though? People talk about the importance of happiness all the time. Most advice columns tell you at some point or another something along the lines of true love being the condition where the happiness of the other person is essential to your own, but I disagree. No one is in control of your happiness but you; you have the power to pursue things that make you happy and put a stop to the things that don't. Sometimes it's okay to be selfish and do something for yourself instead of constantly thinking of others.
~

I've learned that things change people overtime. When you change, it doesn't mean you are trying to cover up or forgot the past. It just means that you are growing up and moving forward. There is no reason for you to go back to your"old ways" just to please someone else because in the end, you most likely won't be able to make them happy at all. If a person doesn't except and love you for who you are, then there's no reason why you should waste your time trying to change their mind. You can't force anyone to be with you and dwelling on that fact will get you absolutely no where. The person God wants you to be with in the long run isn't going to take advantage of you, lie to you, or even talk to you in a disrespectful manner. When you're heart is broken and your spirit wounded, the best thing you can do is turn to your friends and your faith. If anything is constant in my life, aside from change, it would have to be my best friends and my faith. Every one goes through periods where they feel like it's the end of the world...that's were best friends come in. They have the ability to talk you down when you're angry and upset, but they also serve as a great distraction from the world around you while you try to start over. But forgiving and forgetting is also important - that's where faith comes in...

"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past" - Isaiah 43:18

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So here's to letting go and moving forward. Even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you were and what you meant to me. Just understand that I while I am sad that everything between us has come to an end , I am excited to see what the future holds and wish you the best of luck on your endeavors. Its going to take time, lots of it, for me to move past this but until that time comes I'm going to smile to make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh so you don't see me cry, and even if it kills me I'm going to smile and just - let go.

xoxo,
Jess